There are two common Japanese ways of thinking that are super-healthy, yet in the West we often go the opposite way. They help improve capacity, wellbeing and longevity, along with outright performance and success, despite seeming to do the opposite.
The first is Wabi-Sabi, the acceptance of imperfection, such as cracks, aging, wear and tear, that add uniqueness and character. Wabi-Sabi also embraces the impermanence of life as perfectly OK – things grow and they decay to make way for new growth, and its OK. Wabi-Sabi also enjoys simplicity in lifestyle and material possessions, favouring authentic over pretentious, while disconnecting to appreciate life and both the beauty and passing of time. The opposite of Instagram, if you like.
The second is Kintsugi, which takes that first element of Wabi-Sabi even further to not only appreciate imperfection, but to embrace it, to allow cracks, mistakes, weaknesses and flaws to tell a story that has meaning beyond the simple creation of an object or leading of a generic life. (Kintsugi is also the name of the art of repairing pottery with visible joins that embrace imperfection and add unique character.)
Can you imagine how much less regret and fear we can carry if we embrace Wabi-Sabi and Kintsugi? How natural aging is so much more beautiful than trying to hide it? How it is OK to make mistakes, to be different, to take time out, to not need to feel we have to make no mistakes or “change the world” to be significant and successful? These two ideas reduce the burdens, shames and insecurities we carry, while allowing us time to simply appreciate being ourselves in a natural, authentic world.
Neurobiologically the impacts on wellbeing and longevity are obvious, with less of the unmanageable (unhealthy) “avoidance” stress that makes us ill and kills us before our time. It also gives us a greater ability to act confidently, to be ourselves, to connect with the people and world around us, without fear of failure. That increases positive or “approach” stress that enhances motivation and fulfilment, and health and lifespan with it.
I increasingly see so many people burdened by impossible expectations, regret, and worry about appearances and shallow imagery damage and shorten their lives, yet it doesn’t have to be that way. Embracing Wabi-Sabi and Kintsugi as ways of thinking about one’s self-worth and relationship with life can help change that.
